It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
