I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
