Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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