She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
