my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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