Do vagina's smell?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
