I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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