I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
