Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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