Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
