i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
