with your own penis?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
