end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
