Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize