"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
