I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The best revenge is premature balding
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
