There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize