My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize