he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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