me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
