Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
