Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
