what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
