Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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