the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
