the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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