Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
