another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
