from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
