sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
