Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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