Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
