Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
