Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
