He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
