Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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