He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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