tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
