I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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