Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
