Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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