if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
