rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
