sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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