WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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