Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
