it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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