she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
