forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
