I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
