went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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