Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
