how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize