I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
