So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
