chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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