i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Less talking, more tequila
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize