Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
