Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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