I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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