actually, I'm a sock model
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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