spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
