Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
