Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
