my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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