I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
