you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
