Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
