Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize