I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
